For a couple years, there has been an ongoing joke about LSU fans smelling like corn dogs. I had read in message boards where opposing fans had talked trash about LSU fans and corn dogs, but never knew the whole story. It just seemed like an idiotic cut down that made no sense. 

Then, last night while partying in Baton Rouge with some LSU fans, one of them looked at me as seriously as you can and asked this question with such sincerity; "Do LSU fans really smell like corn dogs?"

What could I say to that? Should I laugh it off or actually sniff him and give him my honest asessment? I went the safe route and told him that a couple fans did reak of battered hot dogs, but that he wasn't one of them. "You just smell like whiskey, and possibly a little B.O." is what I told him, and he seemed okay with that.

Due to the encounter, I had to research where it all came from, and here is the story...

 A few years back, an Auburn fan who goes by the Rivals username
"DeepBlue" posted this controversial dissertation about LSU fans. It
has become legend ever since, and it received much play last year
during the lead up to Tennessee's remarkable comeback against the
Tigers in Death Valley. Therefore, without further adieu, I give you
the story of LSU fans and their facination with battered meat on a
stick:

***

LSU fans smell just like corn dogs.

Yes, it is often said, but so, so true.

LSU fans do smell like corn dogs.

I would never tell them that to their face though. This is something better said at Internet distances. Even now, I am afraid.

I
am afraid that they'll know I said it. I'll walk past an LSU fan
someday, and he'll see that look in my eye that gives it away. That
look that says, "gee, what is that smell? Is it corn dogs?" The next
thing you know, I'll have flat tires on my car.

If you only learn one thing from me today, remember not to tell LSU fans how they smell - you know, like corn dogs.

LSU fans seem, somehow, sensitive to that whole corn dog issue.

I
think this may be why a lot of fans get beaten up by LSU fans. If you
attend a game in Baton Rouge, try to avoid telling them that they smell
like corn dogs. Say something else instead. Like, "Wow, LSU sure does
have a great team this year. This is going to be a great SEC game."

It's
hard. I know. It's like when you're having sex and you try to think
about baseball. That corn dog smell is just so overwhelming. It makes
it hard for you to think about football or baseball or whatever else.
Your brain wanders into corn dog topics like: "Gee, I wonder if I took
a bite of your finger, if you would taste just like a corn dog?"; or
"Is this a real person or is it a giant corn dog trying to make me
think it is a real person?" or "What did that giant corn dog just say?"
or "Excuse me, Mister, why is it that you smell just exactly like corn
dogs smell?" or, of course, after a silencer: "Madam, did you just let
the corn dogs out?"

Heck, after what I've heard about LSU fans,
I think it may be better not to smell them at all. Okay, not all of
them. Some of them are nice. Sure. Smell the nice ones. That's okay.

You
know what else is a bad thing to do? Holding your nose around them.
They are real sensitive to that, too. Try holding your breath. But
don't be obvious about it. Somehow they know you're trying not to
breathe in the corn dog smell. And that offends them. They'll likely
punch you for that if they catch on to what you're doing.

If
you do breathe it in long enough, though, it'll permeate your whole
body, and then you'll smell like a corn dog just like they do. But
don't say, "Dang, now I smell like a corn dog." They take offense to
that. And they will throw things. But not corn dogs. Hard stuff. Stuff
that leaves bruises and makes you bleed. Then you may have to get
stitches or something. Just don't say it. If you do start smelling like
a corn dog, just shut up about it. Okay?

I think kids are
acutely aware of corn dog smells too. Counsel your kids on how to
behave around LSU fans. If LSU fans are driving around town, do not let
your kids stick their heads out of your car window and sniff the air.
No. Keep your windows rolled up. An odd change in
their expression -
indicating they smell corn dogs - might get a wrench or pipe or some
other object tossed at your windshield. So, that's dangerous. Let your
kids stick their heads out of the car windows as you drive - on some
other weekend

I know you are just as puzzled as I am about some
of this corn dog stuff. What puzzles me most is that I've never
actually seen any of these LSU fans with a corn dog in their hand.
Okay, maybe there's no mystery there - maybe they already ate the corn
dogs. Who knows? Maybe there's a corn dog factory in Baton Rouge and
they all work there. Maybe, there's a corn dog lotion that they wear,
or a French perfume. Maybe their city council puts corn dog juice in
the water supply - kind of like fluoride. The politics there are
probably weird. The big political issue during the city election is
whether they should add more ketchup or more mustard to the water.
Don't comment on it though. It's not politically correct over there.
It's like a malnutrition issue or something. It's like the corn dogs
are probably added to the water to prevent starvation or something.

I
know when you go to Baton Rouge, you're thinking: "Ahhhh. Here I am in
Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I'll bet the people here smell just like boiled
crawfish or shrimp etoufe' or some fancy Cajun food." But just stop
thinking that. That's just a myth. They smell just like corn dogs.

In
fact, please listen to my advice. Leave them alone about the corn dog
odor. And don't try masking the odor with something stronger. They'll
curse at you. They'll say something like: "WTF, how dare you smoke a
cigar in my home," or "WTF!! Are you too good for the smell of
corn
dogs?" and they'll cuss out your kids too: "WTF!!! Little Mister fancy
pants over here acts like he doesn't want to smell like corn dogs."

Cajuns
are not like us. Don't you see that, yet? They are really sensitive
about being sniffed and about their corn dog aroma. They know they
smell like corn dogs and it is no laughing matter to them at all. I
know, I know. We sniff the Bammers and the UGA dawgs and the Ole
messes,
and we keep a straight face with each of them, but don't press your
luck with the Cajun tiger fans. Don't refer to Death Valley as corn dog
valley either. I mean that's just wrong. Even if you've been drinking,
they'll beat you up and curse out your kids.

Along these lines,
be extra careful when you laugh in their direction - even if you're
laughing about something else. Like baseball or football, or sex or
whatever. If you can't control yourself and you must laugh though, do
not snort. The snorting makes them think that you smell their corn dog
body odor from a distance or that you're choking on it or
something. They'll likely burn your van for that. We lost a campus building over just one snort.
So,
just remember. You can love one another without sniffing each other.
You can enjoy the clash of a couple of good football teams. You can
enjoy the thrill of the rivalry. But after the game, please heed my
words. Please just move along. No sniffing the opposing fans this
Saturday. Okay? Get your corn dog jollies at home.

Enough with this corn dog talk. Let's play ball...