This article may not be about tailgating, but it's a rant that we at GatorTailgating.com felt was too good not to be shared with the members of our site. 

Lately it seems like every time I turn on the TV or go online there’s some new commercial or marketing statement trying to sucker men into doing something simply by adding the word “man” onto the name of the activity or product. It’s never been cool but it’s really starting to get ridiculous. Frankly, I find many of these to be just plain insulting to men everywhere.

Man cave – There was a time when a man’s home was his castle. Now apparently he gets just one room. Even then it’s like he won the lottery and he’s “so lucky his wife lets him have his own room”. If the rest of your place looks like it belongs on the Oxygen Channel I don’t care how nice your “cave” is, to me that’s just the room where you keep your family jewels. I’m not saying your whole house should look like a bachelor pad either but your house should look like it’s your house and you should know at least some of the people in the photos on the fridge. Just keep your underwear out of the living room please, and no empty pizza boxes.

Mancation – WTF? When did this term come about? Whatever happened to the road trip? Seriously, if you get your friends together to get away from work, wives, kids, or whatever call it a “trip”. Mancation sounds like you’re all going for a joint waxing session or something, which leads me to the next one on the list…

Manscaping – I shave every day except when I don’t have to. Ok I lied; I don’t shave every day but I should. Fortunately my job as a tailgating legend allows me to wear jeans and a t-shirt and shave when I feel like it but I digress. I firmly believe in good hygiene. Chest hair is one thing but when it starts looking like you have a turtleneck on or your back takes on the look of a primate at the zoo you’ve got to clean that sh*t up. That’s just good grooming plain and simple. Whatever else you do is your business but when you start spending more time grooming yourself than your lawn you’ve gone too far.

Manorexia – This sounds like a special episode of Oprah and I doubt that very many tailgaters have this problem. Anorexia is a serious illness for those that have it and I didn’t realize it was gender specific.

Mancession – Now that the news media has gone from reporting the news to sensationalizing the news they seem to have a word for everything…”Snowpocalypse” anyone? “Snowmageddon”? Evidently this recession has been harder on men than it has on women so even Newsweek has taken to calling it a mancession. The graphic they have to illustrate men’s job losses vs. women’s gains is kind of amusing thanks to its shape though. Maybe we really do need some ED meds to "stimulate" the economy.

Mantry – This one comes from the New York Times, which had a food column for men by this name for several years. I’m surprised Food Network hasn’t appropriate this for one of their shows.

Mandles – I saw this online a couple of years ago and I seriously thought it was a joke. I guess the joke’s on me because this is a real company selling scented candles for men. Mandle Company - Candles on Testosterone. Some of the scents include beer, leather, and swimsuit model. They even have a scent called “Tailgate” that’s supposed to be a mix of beer, pigskin, and turf…how could they forget BBQ? I do like the idea of a bacon candle though. Mmm...bacon.

Mantastic, Manovation, etc. – These crop up anytime someone writes an article referring to something a man did or something they think men will like. Really? Do you think I don’t understand if you just say it’s awesome? If anyone calls the Freedom Grill a great manovation I will seriously scream. You might as well call the wheel and the lightbulb manovations. It’s offensive and it needs to stop. It trivializes innovation and mocks progress to use these words.

Mankini – This term came about after the movie Borat and doesn’t need much of a description. Let’s just agree this one is seriously wrong.

Bromance & Brocation – Ok so these don’t start with “man”. They are just as irritating if not more so.

Manstruating - Another term that probably came from people spending too much time watching The View, Lifetime, or something like that. The only reason men appear to have a "time of the month" is because they are dealing with the women in their lives (and lack of sex makes some guys pretty irritable). Either that or he's just moody to begin with. Leave it alone.

Mangina – Not much explanation needed here. If you use all or most of the terms above and you carry a man purse, get regular “mani-pedis”, and only drink appletinis; this might be you.

As much as I’d like to blame Jerry Seinfeld for introducing the world to the mansiere/bro and the man purse I think both of those existed long before he brought them to the world’s attention. Wherever it started, I think it’s time for it to stop. You don’t need to “reclaim your manliness” if you never lost it in the first place. Stop overcompensating. Go light a fire and grill something. Put your feet on the coffee table, drink a beer, and watch whatever you want on TV. Just be sure to change the channel if anyone says anything on the list above.

"Stay Hungry My Friends!"

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