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Best Football Jokes

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Best Football Jokes
Ok so we all know a few of our own, so lets hear you best football jokes, cause we could all use some ammo to blast our rivals with this year! I'll start with a couple of my favs.
 
How do you keep a bulldog from masterbating???
Paint his dick orange and blue and he'll only beat it three times every nineteen years!( correct me if I'm off with the numbers please)

What do you call a virgin in Louisiana?
A twelve year old that can out run her brothers!
  
Lets hear them people!

Just sit back, your riding with the Captain!

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Q: How do you circumcize a bulldog fan?

A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q:What does a FSU Graduate say to a UF Graduate?

A: Do you want fries with that?

 

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Why do FSU grads put their diplomas in their windshield?

A. So they can park in handicap spots.

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I have this in my signature... but this joke is good for pretty much any state in the south:

Why is it difficult to solve murders in Georgia?

Because there's no dental records, & the DNA's all the same!

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How do you keep a Seminole out of your front yard?
Put a goal post up!

What is the definition of safe sex in Knoxville, Tennessee?
Placing signs on the animals that kick.

What do you get when you cross a Hurricane with a groundhog?
Six more weeks of bad football.

If you have a car containing a FSU wide receiver, a FSU linebacker, and a FSU defensive back, who is driving the car?
The cop.

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How many Noles does it take to tackle Tim Tebow?
Good question, no one knows.

How do you sell out a Miami home game?
Invite the Gators!

"A guy is in a bar with his dog, watching the UF vs. FSU game. The Noles surprisingly manage to get a field goal and the dog barks repeatedly. The bartender looks at the dog in awe. After a while, the Noles score a touchdown and the dog does flips and dances across the bar. Then, the bartender looks at the guy and says, "Man, that's amazing. What does your dog do when FSU beats the Gators?" The guy replied, "I dunno, I've only had him 4 years."

"We interrupt this marriage to bring you GATOR FOOTBALL..."

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Q: What did the Knoxville City Council do to slow the birth rate down in Knoxville?

A: They outlawed family reunions

"Gator born, Gator bred, and when I die I'll be Gator dead" 

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Any more goods seminole jokes to take to Tallahassee with us?!

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what do you call a drug ring in Tallahassee?

.... a huddle 

Just sit back, your riding with the Captain!

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well, while we're on the criminole subject, an oldie but goldie.....

 What do you say to an FSU football player in a suit?

 Will the defendent please rise?

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Q. What do Florida and FSU students have in common?

A. They all could get admitted to FSU.

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